Sunday, January 15, 2012

Pet Peeves... UNEDITED.

Hey Y'all!! Sorry for the recent 'writer's block' (lack of good inspiration). While consulting with a friend on ideas for a post, she threw out an idea to write a raw, in depth, and very descriptive list of things I do not like... which I translated into a list of my pet peeves. Hope this leaves you chuckling... or changing a bad habit! :)

1) PANTIE LINES! Yoga pants, dresses, athletic wear, or any tight apparel does not deserve to be looked at negatively due to your poor undergarment selection. Just don't do it!! There are thongs. Either your on a Walmart budget, or a Victoria Secret budget... you can find a thong. Heck, go commando (We've all had to at some point or another) rather than have a bulging pantie line... I'm sorry ladies/gents, it's fashion suicide. 

2) MISSING A SPOT! Every girl that straightens her hair has a mirror. It's proven fact! Honey, use the mirror. Don't go out with every piece of your hair fried straight but then leave that poor strand in the back wavy, curly, whatever. You make that poor hair, and yourself, look bad! It's better to over straighten the back than just not do it at all! 

3) SKINNY JEANS! Okay this only applies when certain people wear them. Kim Kardashian can work some skinnys! But other types of people cannot. I'm going leave you with this in mind... They are called SKINNY JEANS, not MAKE YOU Skinny Jeans. Thanks.

4) OFF/ON ACCENTS! Either you have an accent or you don't. It's not an accent if you talk in this way when you want to look cute. People can tell you're fake.. which leads you back to not looking cute. Do everyone a favor and talk in the voice the good Lord gave you.

5) PEOPLE WHO CAN'T COMPREHEND! Most people understand the phrase "In A Relationship"... a certain species of girls do not. Okay, if your Facebook says "In A Relationship with Blah Blah" that means they are TAKEN (aka: off the market, unavailable, not to be toyed with, etc.) So, for all the girls who do not know what this phrase means, learn it before you get knocked out! Causal Convo is one thing, flirting like a french woman is a totally different ball game.

6) DIPPIN', CHEWIN', & SPITTIN'! No normal girl wants a guy who dips, not to mention kiss a guy who has a big wad of tobacco in his mouth. Your tongue might go there... it's just nasty boys!! It makes you look like a sloppy hot-mess! The only chewin' that should go on is a cow chewing its cud (cud: farm word for re-chewing grass, hay, etc.) IF you must chew, dip, or whatever... DO NOT spit in front of your girl, especially on the floor. Easy way out... JUST DON'T START THAT MESS! 
ps girls: if your boy dips, and you don't like it... lay it out on the line! Worked for me. Ask my boy what will happen if the dips. Always be in charge girls!

7) PUSH UP BRAS! If God wanted you to have a nice set of hooters... you'd have em! People can see right through that Victoria Secret Bombshell. While I'm on the topic of trying to fool people on your breast size: It is not cute when you take a picture, in the mirror, looking like your trying to poke your chest out far enough to reach China. Sorry, someone had to tell ya. 

8) THROWING AROUND THE LOVE WORD: To me, love is something very passionate and intimate. It isn't just some word you say to very guy who tells you you're cuter than a speckled pup in a red wagon. You will never forget someone you truly love. If you think back on past relationships and think you don't even know why you dated the loser... you never ever loved him/her! My boyfriend and I did not tell each other "I love you" until we had probably been together three months or so. My point is, you don't love someone after a week. Don't throw the word around like it is nothing. If someone tells you they love you, and you don't love them back but do not want to hurt their feelings... just say "I love youtube" really fast. Poor sucker won't know the difference :)

9) ATTENTION WHORES! OMG I look ugly. WAH I'm fat. UGH I don't look good today! Really, really?! Just get a t-shirt saying "I'm begging for attention!" No one is going to reply to statements like that with "yeah you do look pretty bad today," or "yeah you are gettin' on up there Bessie!" I understand the need to vent sometimes about insecurities, but consult with one good friend. Not all of Facebook, or your whole lunch table. Doing this makes you an 'Attention Whore.' Being an A.W is on the list of unattractive qualities in a person. 

10) TRASH TALKERS! You can talk about yourself, you can talk about your family, and you can talk about me.. but don't you dare talk about my family. I can talk about MY family, but if YOU talk about My family.. you will have your name placed on my hit list. That simple. It is not okay to talk about my family. 

Instead of the attention being on your cute butt... it is redirected to that whappin' pantie line!
MMMMM! Don'tcha want a big wet one from a guy sporting this sexy look?!? HA! Don't think so...
Disappointment waiting to happen...
..... LOL!

Hope no hard feelings were made, but some lessons were learned! Thanks for reading. XOXO

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